Ask Chet

"What is the biggest obstacle keeping you from meeting your soulmate?"

These are some of the problems men are having.

"Attracting the quality of woman that I would not want to live without. Most of the women I have met are nuts, not very intelligent, not attractive, etc."

Jim

First of Jim, don’t feel alone. Trying to meet a woman who you want to spend the rest of your life with isn’t easy or else we’d all have one.

Women share the same problem.

One day I’m going to write a book about all the nutty women I’ve met in my search for the right woman for me.

What I have created as a filtering system to weed out most of the wrong women is to drive them to my personal website. I pick and chose who gets to see what I think a potential mate should know about me and visually see.

I’m very upfront and blunt about what it takes to be with me.

What this does is run off the ones who know they don’t qualify. It let’s the women who are more my type learn a great deal about me in a very short time.

This makes them feel like they’ve known me a long time. It also makes them want to pick up the phone and call me.

You can hear how the conversations usually go by listening in on my cds that come with the http://www.chetsdatingsystem.com.

I also supply you with a template of how to write out the qualities of the kind of woman you’re looking for. You have to be persistent in your search and know what you want.

It’s numbers game and once you have a system the numbers turn in your favor.

Hey Chet,

My wife died 6 months ago so not sure I have another soulmate. I am 39 years old and met you in Tampa at Matt Furey's seminar and of course have heard Dan Kennedy talk about you. Enjoyed your presentation and am considering your program seriously just not sure how ready I am for dating.

Thanks,
David

David, I understand the sorrow and doubt that comes from your loss. What I found to be true is that time helps heal all wounds.

I lost my best friend in a car wreck back in 1995.

The pain will lessen with time.

Whenever we have someone who is special and dear to us pass away we feel like there can never be another.

When you think about how many people there are in the world it’s just a matter of time before you meet someone new who makes you feel like you’ve found a new soul mate.

What will definitely help is to get out and start meeting some women. You can start out just as friends and take it to the next level when you’re ready to.

You might want to write out the qualities that your wife had and look for a similar woman.

There are women online who have lost their husbands and need someone new in their life.

Give it a try when you’re ready. You’ll be glad you did.

"not knowing what to say to attract her"

This is a problem most men have. They’re afraid of being rejected if they say the wrong thing. If I say this then I’ll blow my chance of being with her.

The truth is if you don’t approach her and say something you have no chance of getting her. If you’re seeing her in person all you have to do is notice something about her as a person.

Ask about some article of clothing she’s wearing. Like those are very nice shoes. Where did you get them?

Imagine if a woman came up to you and ask where you got an item of clothing you’re wearing. You wouldn’t just say at the men’s store.

No, you’d go into details about not only where you got it but why you got it and how hard it was to find. Kind of like, the right person to share your life with.

And away you’d go into an in depth conversation. The more conversations you find yourself starting with all strangers not just women, the easier it becomes.

Haven’t you ever said something to a stranger who just ignored you or gave a one word answer. What did you do? You said no big deal and went about your business.

It’s the same with women. Most will go in the direction you lead them. If they don’t move on to the next one.

In chetsdatingsystem I show you step by step how to communicate with women who don’t know you …yet.

First you get their attention, then tell them something interesting which will create a desire to know more. Finally, you suggest the action you want them to take.

If you do these four things you’ll have lots of women want to be with you.

No time to get started like now, is there?

"There is a lovely and sexy young lady, and in my third mail I send her the Niceguy /badboy sequence. her response: I hope you are a nice guy. I will be an angel for you! How would you react?"

I’d let her know that I’m not only a very nice guy but if she has what it takes she might get a taste of my bad boy side.

I’d say that over ninety percent of women I talk with love a man with a naughty side to them. In fact they want you to me confident enough to bring out their naughty girl side. All women have a naughty side just begging to come out and play.

I’ve met some of the most proper women you’ll ever see and get to see their naughty side because I know how to bring it out in them.

When you listen to me talk on the phone or read the emails I send them you can see how easy I do this.

That’s why I recorded some of the calls I have with women on cd for you to learn by. I even transcribed each call so you can read what and how to say the words that bring out the naughty side of the woman you’re interested in.

You’re a nice guy so go for it!

"i think its that i have not enough guts to go the woman i want and start a conversation with her. but i think i am getting there."

That’s the beauty of meeting women online. You can start out by sending them an email first, then get them on the phone.

After you write to them and they respond back you’ll get a feel of what to say. Once you learn how to approach a woman with an email which is nothing more than words written down you’ll learn how to talk like that to them on the phone and then in person.

If you make it a daily habit to send out ten emails you have lots of women to talk with. First on the phone and then in person.

You’ll continue to build your confidence and skills day by day. Suddenly, it will feel very natural to you.

"fear of opening my heart. to not to allow anybody to hurt me I think..."

If you’re fearful of having your heart broken you’ll never know what it feels like to have a happy in love heart. We all have to take chances in our romantic pursuits.

There are a lot of women who’ve had their hearts broken by men in their lives. Most people both men and women have a heartbreak story from their past.

That’s why most women’s trust is so hard to earn. If you are upfront and honest with them from the beginning chances are they will be with you too.

The best way to get going is to sit down and start writing out who you are as a man, how you really feel deep inside and what you desire in a woman.

Sometimes it helps to have a couple of drinks to relax you. Once you start to write the words and feelings will just start pouring out of you.

Keep writing as fast as the thoughts are going through your head. Once your done you’ll have an idea of the type of woman you want and if you can communicate your feelings to her you’ll be off and running.

By remaining fearful you’re not only depriving yourself of having someone to share your life with you’re also depriving some woman of the opportunity to be the woman of your dreams.

"Hot, beautiful, sexy women being to friggin shallow to take the time to look beyond my physical size. I am 6'0"" tall and weigh around 345lbs."

We’re all guilty of judging people by their appearance initially. Just think, you want hot sexy women. What about an average looking woman who has outstanding qualities inside.

I talk with guys all the time who want women who are 10s. I ask what do you have to offer her. I’m not talking financially either.

I’m talking about the ability to make a woman feel safe and secure around you. No matter what a man looks like if he can make a woman enjoy his company through his communication skills he has a chance to win her heart.

Women love to be around a confident man who can make them laugh and enjoy themselves.

I happen to have an ex girlfriend whose daughter is a physical knockout. Her boyfriend of four years is 6’1” and weighs 362lbs.

The common response someone has when they see them together is what in the hell is she doing with him.

The answer is simple.

He makes her feel comfortable being with him. He constantly has her laughing out loud. You can see her light up when she is around him.

She doesn’t care what anyone else can see in him. It’s how he communicates with her that got her and keeps her.

Even a man with six pack abs will only keep a woman around if he can stimulate her mind. If not he’ll soon be replace by a man who can.

There are a lot of women who like the husky teddy bear type. Broaden your criteria beyond the Barbie doll type.

You might just find someone who is crazy about you.

"My Company cut my pay, so I have about $25.00 per month for buying coffee, and anyone more than 15 miles away are too far....gas is so high and I need it more to get to work. I am 54 and the available women near me that age that are a 6 or higher I can count on one hand. I have met 8 since xmas for coffee and everyone was 5 or below, out of shape with unbelievable issues. Were intimidated by fact that I am in really good shape and each one mentioned I looked 38 or 40 and that made them feel uncomfortable. I have a TotalGym at home and work out regulalry and follow the Abs workout Diet. I also got comments that I liked myself too much...believe me most guys around Bartow here are Ahole's, I guess they expect me to be the same. I can't figure it out. My problem is I am just so damn financially strapped, $9 an hr. is a big change from $12 an hr. it's going to take several months more to budget myself a decent romance. Trying to find a lonely wealthy widow...but its too far from Ft. Lauderdale.....Bob"

The first thing you should do is get the book Think And Grow Rich by Napolean Hill. It will teach and inspire you on how to earn the income you’re really worth.

Dale Carnige wrote a book called How To Win Friends and Influence People. If most women you meet are saying the same thing about you should ask them what makes them feel that way about you.

If you show women that you are truly interested in them they’ll find you more interesting.

A man on a budget can always take a woman fishing. Meet at a public park to feed the squirrels or even at the beach for a stroll.

What qualities do you have that would make a wealthy widow interested in you if all you’re after is a meal ticket.

You could get certified and become a personal trainer. This will allow you time to workout and be in an environment to meet lots of fit women.

If you’re upfront with women and let them know what you’re all about from the beginning you’ll meet more women with your qualities.

There‘s a very simple reason a fit physically healthy man is making $9 an hour. The answer can be found in the two books I just told you about.

"I care to much about what other people think of me, and therefore I don't say anything at all."

Let me ask you a question. Where are the people you worried about what they thought of you from a year ago?

How about what all the kids in school thought of you?

And there must be a woman somewhere that thought something about you, right?

You know what they all have in common?

None of them are active in your life now. So what they thought doesn’t matter. Didn’t then and doesn’t now.

If you go through your life worrying about what other people think of you you’ll miss out on most of life’s pleasure.

Imagine if a pro athlete worried about what the fans thought or if they booed him he’d never show up for the games.

The only person’s opinion of you that matters is yours. When you start learning how to love yourself for who you are you’ll realize your opinion of you is the only one that counts.

I’ve had people share their opinion about me in a variety of situations. I might give it some thought but it doesn’t slow me down from leading the life I chose to live.

It’s like being in a class and you don’t know the answer to a question but you’re to afraid to ask for the answer because of what someone will think.

They might think of you as being stupid. Who cares what they think?

By not going for it you only deprive yourself.

By asking a question you get to learn and enhance your skills.

It’s the same when you approach a woman. You got nothing to lose if you don’t worry about the outcome.

You have everything to gain if you get what you wanted.

So start asking and you’ll start getting.

Chet

P.S. Don’t worry about what I just told you!

"not having the confidence to know exactly what to do in each situation when it comes up."

I’ll let you in on a secret. Nobody knows exactly what to do or say in any and every situation. The only way you learn how to handle these situations is by being in them.

The more you find yourself wondering what to say and do the sooner you get at it being a part of who you really are.

You have to get in lots of different situations with women so you’ll become comfortable. The more you do this the better you’ll get at being able to ad lib.

Your subconscious mind will just take over and you’ll be able to react with whatever you’re given. There is a little voice in your head that’s telling you what will I do if this or that happens?

What if I don’t say or do the right thing?

Don’t worry about exactly what you’re saying or doing. Just start doing and you’ll get better and better at it because you’ll feel more confidence from the experience you’ll be gaining.

Imagine walking up to a buddy. You don’t wonder if you’re going to do or say the exact correct thing. You just start talking.

Whenever I’m talking to a woman or a room full of people I never know exactly what I’m going to say. Just communicate from your heart and the right message come out.