Datings Articles

Conversations and Small Talk

Being a good conversationalist is an important trait, because, many times, a conversation can be someone’s first impression of you. Listening to how a person participates in a conversation can tell you a lot about their personality. If they dominate the discussion or talk over people, you can assume that they are probably more aggressive in their daily life. The same goes for a person who does not ever have anything to contribute to discussions - they might be a shy, self-conscious person. You want to be the kind of person who emits a good vibe. Here are some tips on how you can appropriately make small talk and contribute to conversations.

First of all, it is important to let people know that you are paying attention to them when they are speaking. The best way to do this is by your physical actions. Look at the person who is speaking, and nod your head to let them know you are listening. (You do not need to constantly nod, as this can get obnoxious.) Stay relaxed, but keep an attentive posture. If you lean forward and rest your elbows on your knees, it shows that you are immersed in the conversation. If you sit back in your chair with your arms crossed, it shows that you are blocking yourself off. Nothing shows disinterest more than fidgeting, yawning, or repetitive glances at your watch. When you are out on a date, DO NOT look around at other women. That is one of the worst mistakes you can make. If you are at a restaurant, perhaps choosing the seat with a view of the wall can curb that temptation to glance at the cute waitresses that walk by.

Obviously, verbal actions will show people what kind of conversationalist you are. Conversation etiquette is common sense for the most part. Do not interrupt the speaker. If you would like to interject, wait until the speaker is finished talking. Take your turn in the conversation and make sure that you are not dominating it. Keep vulgar language to a minimum, especially when you are having a conversation with your date. Respond with positive statements such as, “That is a good point”, and do not put people down, even if they say something that you disagree with.

Listen to what people are saying! You can use this information later to your advantage. If your date mentions that she loves Italian food, show her that you were listening the next time you call by asking her to an Italian restaurant or cooking a wonderful manicotti dinner for her.

If you are in a conversation that begins to lag, there are several ways that you can get it going again. Bring up a hypothetical question, even if it is silly. “If you won the lottery, what would be the biggest purchase you would make?” or “If you could travel anywhere and money was not an issue, where would you go?” Ask simple questions about the person’s life, because most people love to answer questions about themselves. Ask about family members, past life experiences, their career, or what they do during their days off. You can talk about events on the news, favorite places to eat, or movies you both enjoy. Avoid controversial subjects such as politics and religion, or potentially hazardous subjects such as former relationships.

Read books, magazines, and newspapers and remember interesting snippets to bring up in conversations. Expand your horizons by trying out new things during your normal life. Try something you have never done before. Eat at a new restaurant. Read a book that you might not usually pick up. Try out a new sport. If you are not good at the new things you try, or if you hate the new restaurant, that can make for a great story.

There are several things you need to keep in mind while having a conversation. Pay attention to the physical signals you are giving off, and remember to actually listen to the person who is speaking, including yourself. Be positive and keep the conversation going. Practice your conversation skills constantly by engaging in small talk with people around you, including strangers. By incorporating these tips into your life, you will have no problem keeping conversations going and keeping people interested in what you have to say.