Datings Articles

How To Boost Your Odds Of Having A “First Date” Success! - Part 1

Dating, and all the games that go along with it, can sometimes be as frustrating as trying to learn how to ride a bike. As soon as you think you’ve “got it”, next thing you know, you’re on the floor, bruised, banged up, worn out and licking your wounds, yet your only option is to get up and get back on and give it yet one more try.

And although Woody Allen once said “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love”, don’t throw in the towel just yet.

But let’s face it, dating, and especially first dates, are stressful. After all, the only other times you’re getting so scrutinized -- or at least you FEEL like you’re getting so scrutinized -- are perhaps when you’re going for a job interview... when you’re in court... or when you’re meeting your partner’s parents for the first time.

And for most “normal” people, each of these situations ranks pretty low on your “things I’d like to do today” list.

True?

But thankfully, times have changed. For starters, due to advances in technology, we’re a lot more advanced than our parents.

With the internet and high-speed access, you don’t have to hang around the water cooler at the office, hoping to randomly bump into that that special someone at work, or waste your time sucking back one unwanted fruity drink after another at the bar, waiting for Mr. or Mrs. “Right” to walk in.

In fact, even if finding your soulmate is as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack -- the fact that you can poke through hundreds of haystacks in dozens of different locations, while sitting around in your underwear at home online -- ups your odds significantly.

Having said that, and even though the internet and high-speed access can now put you in touch with the love of your life in a split-second... getting to know someone, especially romantically, is a HUGE challenge for most people.

For starters, who has time?

“Instant” connectivity has bought a host of new and time-consuming personal and professional responsibilities along with it.

Plus, many people have family issues (they don’t call it the “sandwich” generation for nothing) like children and / or ailing parents to look after, and many folks still haven’t recovered financially from the last recession of the “dot com explosion” of 2000, or from 9/11.

And let’s not forget, sorting through all the dating options the internet gives you takes time as well.

After all, going out on 1 blind date takes an hour or so.

But sorting through 50 to 100 prospective candidates online, may take you a week!

First, one of you has to make an initial contact, then... assuming there’s some kind of mutual interest, you have to go back-and-forth corresponding by e-mail a few times, to see which one’s are going to get squeezed through your funnel and make it to the “telephone stage”... and of course, this process can then go a million different ways from there.

But when you’ve got this system going on with maybe 2 or 3 dozen people at one time (and for aggressive daters, that’s a very conservative number), so hopefully one or two will make it out and through to the other end, where a physical meeting actually takes place -- this takes a LOT of time.

And for some people, a strong stomach -- because rejection, no matter how subtle -- isn’t always easy!

Of course you can always rely on your friends and family to try and set you up, but the statistics there don’t up your odds too much higher. The likelihood of you liking someone who’s been introduced to you by a family member is only 12% -- and that’s lower than the chances of it raining right after you get your car washed.

And the likelihood of you liking someone who’s been introduced to you by a friend is only slightly higher at 17%, so don’t get your hopes up there either.

Using a dating service ups the odds somewhat, but not by a landslide. National dating service “It’s Just Lunch” says that only 30% of their first dates lead to a second date.

And it’s no wonder, most people you speak to can share loads of horror stories about how people look in photos and how they describe themselves online, is like night and day compared to who they are and what they look like in person.

Men say that like real estate brokers, the picture women put online, is more like a glamour shot they took 25 years ago. And women say that in person, men are much shorter and much heavier than they allude to in their profiles and photos.

And even though you’re supposed to be on your best behavior on a first date, with some people, bad habits and a conversation that turns to ex-spouses and acrimonious divorce memories, are only moments away from the first hello!

With experiences and odds like this, sometimes sitting at home curled up under a blanket with your remote control and a box of cookies, alone, doesn’t really seem that bad, now does it?

But don’t worry, next time we’ll talk about some ways you can boost your chances of having a first date success, and how to make lemonade out of lemons when you need to.