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Dating Tips for Men
Big Blown Up Implants
My friend Liz came by tonight and was telling me about her date from hell. She met a man last night and went out with him. When she was telling me her story it was very easy to relate because I have had some experiences which were just as bad, if not worse. Not to mention, all of Chet's crazy adventures over the years.
I think the best/worst one I remember with Chet was his trip to London with a Doctor/Dentist/Dental assistant. The reason I say she is all three is because she forgot her story and told us she was all three. One afternoon I arrived at Chetland to find her nosing through Chet's books on his coffee table in his living room. I was polite, but not friendly. She didn't care though. She started telling me her life story regardless of my obvious lack of interest. She mentioned to me how she was a doctor. I really didn't pay much attention. I knew she wouldn't last long around Chet. She talked and talked and talked...which is a sure sign she would be dumped before she got her claws too far into Chet's wallet.She annoyed me, but I knew what Chet saw in her. Bottle blonde hair, big, blown up implants and a tiny waist.
This "doctor" was about to fly to London with Chet. They were actually going to fly to Washington, DC. first to meet up with Chet's friend Joe for a few days before flying on to London. I said my goodbyes and left Chet's before the two of them embarked on this journey together.
It was about four days later when Chet tracked me down on my cell phone while I was at his house working. He was in London. The phone connection was terrible. He was short and to the point with his call. He asked me to check to see if she left her purse in his house. She claimed she didn't have ANY money with her because she forgot her purse. I looked in the bedroom and sure enough it was there. It had a Q-tip, a movie ticket stub and some lint. Oh and a stick of bent gum still in its package, but pretty mangled.
I told Chet what was in the purse and he laughed, which is what he always does. He never gets upset. He just let's everything roll off his back.
So here is a woman who traveled overseas without a purse. How many women leave the house without a purse? And to not figure it out before you get to your destination...just not very believable. Then to top it off, you know she had to show a license and passport to get to London. Why these items were not in the purse I will never know.
Chet asked me if I would pick this chick up at the airport (see how I always end up in the middle of Chet's dirty laundry.) She was going home early because of a family emergency, or at least that is what she told Chet. The truth is, Chet got tired of her games and crap real fast and found someone else in the bar.
Before I hung up with Chet he told me to be sure I got his camera back from her. The wackadoo stole it. He also told me to get the 500 bucks she borrowed from him. I warned him she wouldn't pay much more than a Q-tip since that was all that was in the purse. He just laughed and insisted I try to get it.
Later that evening I drove to the airport to pick up Dr. Wackadoo. She was waiting for me, so I didn't have to circle the airport a million times. I just hate it when I have to keep driving around because the rent-a-cops won't let you park for 30 seconds.
I stepped out of the car to help her load the luggage in the back. She was like a cat that had a whole can of catnip... just going on and on waiving her arms. I listened for a few seconds, then decided I was not going to be nice.
As soon as she sat in the car, the crap flew out of her mouth about Chet. I had just started to pull out of the pick-up area and I just stopped.
Slammed down on the break. Turned to her and said, "Chet is my friend, you are not! I am VERY loyal to him. I don't want to hear you bash him. Matter of fact, I don't want to hear anything from you. You are going to sit there and shut up until we get to Chet's house. Then you are going to get your ass out of this car, go into your luggage, take Chet's camera out of your bags and give me the $500 bucks you owe Chet."
I didn't even give her a chance to say a word. I turned up the radio so loud I couldn't even hear myself think.
As I stepped out of the car, she started going on about how she did not have Chet's camera. She blamed him. I grabbed her bag, carried it in the house until I stepped into the foyer. I then let it drop to the floor.
I told her to search her bag, or I would do it for her.
She was in tears.
She searched all around. Found nothing.
I started tossing stuff out of the suitcase, then she stopped me. She opened her other bag and magically the camera appeared.
I was so pissed.
Next I inquired about the money. She didn't have it...big surprise. She told me she would mail it to him. I knew at that moment the money was gone, but I was not going to fight about it.
I told her to leave. She whined, then reminded me her car was parked in Chet's garage.
I walked over to the garage door, pressed the button to open it and then motioned to her to go.
I walked back in the house frustrated out of my mind.
It wasn't even a minute later when she was in the doorway of Chet's office where I was working.
Her car wouldn't start. She needed a jump. I told her she was on her own. She asked the neighbor and he tried but no luck.
I ended up having to take her to Wal-Mart to get a new battery. What a night.
When Chet returned from London he explained the whole story. It was even crazier than the night I spent driving this woman around town.
It was just another adventure for him in pursuit of the woman of his dreams.
I don't know what this woman's deal was, or why she lied about everything, but I do know it doesn't pay to pretend you are something you are not. You may have doubts about yourself and worry you are not good enough for a woman, but that is only in YOUR head. You are as good as anyone else. Don't try to be someone you are not. Be yourself, just remember to be your BEST self. Put your best foot forward. Chet's online dating system will help you do just that.
Now go find the woman of your dreams,
Chet Rowland, The Chetinator
Creator of Chet's "Automatic" Online Dating System
The World's First Sexual Attraction System For Men
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