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Dating Tips for Men
What Makes Some Women Tick -- A Rare Glimpse From The Inside
Today, we'll go over an e-mail I recently received from one of the 325 e-mails laying in my inbox (and NO I'm NOT kidding -- if you have any doubts, just look at a picture of my inbox here from women who've responded to my online ad, and have either contacted me directly... or "winked" at me... or who've used whatever other kind of "hey, check me out" kind of system that particular online dating site uses.
I actually had some free time this week, so I was able to knock down my inbox from 536 unread e-mails to now where I'm down to 325 unread e-mails.
What I like about this woman's e-mail is that if you look into what she said, you can learn a lot about how women are thinking and reacting to most of the garbage they're getting.
Use this RARE glimpse to discover some mistakes you might be making, and then use my online dating system to figure out how to successfully overcome these problems, turning lemons...
Into lemonade!
Here we go -- I'll break down what she's saying after each paragraph:
"Chet,
A very good looking guy is generally, but not always, very full of himself and selfish, and see's himself with a beautiful woman on his arm to compliment and complete his look. He may look no deeper than her looks or whatever criteria he deems necessary and he will take her for granted. It is important for him to look good. Sometimes a beautiful woman likes being part of the bookends but as women we need to know that the love and caring are from the inside because we want it to last."
At first blush here, you really don't know where she's going with this.
It's a very odd way to open up a conversation.
Is she telling me I need a beautiful woman to make myself feel complete, even if she's a shallow pumpkinhead... or is she telling me she likes to be with a good-looking guy but she'll settle for less if a guy's got it going on mentally and emotionally and if the 2 of them have chemistry?
Hard to say at this point -- let's see what else she's got up her sleeve.
"A not so great looking man is not counting on his looks to capture the woman's attention so he must rely on his personality which generally comes from the heart. With him we are already seeing who he really is and we know if we are loved and important and cared about and wanted for more than what we look like. He doesn't see the imperfections that the good looking guy may focus on. He see's her mind and her laugh and her wicked sense of humor and that holding her hand while they walk is like heaven and she feels it from him. And should something happen to her and she loses her beauty, he will love her because he always has and to him, nothing has changed."
This is a little loopy here. Let's get real for a minute -- whether a guy is good-looking or not, he's going to want an attractive woman if he thinks highly of himself.
Your looks, and how you view the world and the people in it, aren't necessarily related, and in fact they're often mutually exclusive.
Most attractive people aren't airheads any more than most unattractive people are smart.
This shows me she has self-esteem issues about her appearance, and she hasn't really been around and probably isn't as smart as she thinks she is.
So at this point, I'm losing interest... fast... and she'd better recover pretty damn quickly if she expects me to even continue reading, let alone respond.
"With the very good looking man we have to worry that everything is perfect or he will notice and then we become stressed. It is hard to reach inside the good looking man to see who he really is because his facade is hard and we never know."
Again, like I said, looks and mindset are mutually exclusive issues. And a polished exterior has nothing to do with a "hardened" exterior.
In fact, most people who work on their outsides, also make a pretty concerted effort to work on themselves inside as well.
At this point, can you start "sensing" how difficult it would be to do even something simple with this woman, like waking up in the morning on a Sunday and enjoying a good laugh together over a cup of coffee?
"As women we look at every man as a possible love of our life. Sure the good looking man gets looked at more often but then why is he still looking? Because sometimes you get to know him and wow, good looking just doesn't make up for reality."
Part of this comment is a VERY important insight into how MOST women think, and so far it's the only one thing she said that's important or worth talking about. And that is "we look at every man as a possible love of our life".
See, they're all looking for something permanent, and serious.
They're not playing around here or looking for friends.
That's why these guys that tell me women only see them as friends, I know right away the problem was with the guy, not the woman.
But anyway, this is why it's so important you stand head-and-shoulders above all the other goofballs out there -- these babes are playing for keeps!
And ask yourself, if you were playing for keeps, wouldn't YOU be looking for top-notch material -- or would you want to talk to anything with a vagina and a pulse, that's out there?
"Therefore we become comfortable with the not so good looking guy and by then, he is the most handsome man we know."
I've already passed on this person because she's insecure. And if she's telling me she's O.K. with a guy who's not so good-looking, then it also means she'll easily let herself go, over time.
And nothing's worse than finding out you made a bad investment, then knowing ahead of time this was going to happen, and you still made the investment anyway.
At that point it's "shame on you", not anyone else.
"By the way, we don't want to be 'Picked Up'! Guys should relax and be honest up front and forget the pickup lines. If a woman says no, she may have a really good reason or she may be shallow...oh and how we hate shallow! Does this help?"
Kisses, (name withheld)"
Thanks for telling me this. Now you can put some of this inside information to use with the opposite sex.
"P.S. You said your Jack Russell, Little Billy, loves you unconditionally. I sincerely doubt if he cares if you are good looking or wealthy or can pick up women, he just loves you. Of course he cannot kiss you like I can or make love to you, at least I hope not."
Now if she'd have started the conversation like this, I'd have been game, but instead of seducing me like this from the get-go, she had "anti-seduction repellant" in her message.
And what do you do then?
There's just too many other one's out there, to stick around for more empty conversation like this. She needs to see a good therapist before she gets involved in any kind of a relationship.
And that therapist isn't me.
Delete.
Next.
See you soon.
Oh, and if you want to uncover the same POWERFUL methods I use, to attract women like a HUGE magnet attracts paper clips, then see them for yourself here.
Now go find the woman of your dreams,
Chet Rowland, The Chetinator
Creator of Chet's "Automatic" Online Dating System
The World's First Sexual Attraction System For Men
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