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Dating Tips for Men
Q & A: How Do You Get The Bad Experiences Out Of The Way?
"Chet,
I'm 22, and live near Sacramento, CA. I would have to say that my biggest difficulty with women is that I don't have many places to meet them. I work in a small office with no available women my age and I live in a somewhat rural area with not a lot of night life type places to go.
Also, meeting women through friends is tough because I really only have my few close friends and they are similar to myself with dating experience. Which is not that much. This is why I subscribed to your web site that has internet dating advice as its main objective, it is a more realistic place for me to meet women.
To be honest my other issue is the lack of experience itself. Since I don't have a lot of experience I'm often concerned that I will say something wrong or do something wrong. I mean who is really great at something in the beginning? Not very many. So I guess I need to start focusing on this area of my life so I can get the bad experiences out of the way and build more confidence. Well I guess that's it for now, thanks."
Thanks for your e-mail. You are a smart man to get under the hood of what's really going on in your life and take action to make the changes you need, to get something going.
First of all, if you only hang around a few close friends, there's nothing wrong with that. You really ARE who you hang around with, and if these are good people, then more power to you.
And you're right, NO ONE is good at ANYTHING they do right out of the starting gate, first time around. In fact, every "expert" I know, started off doing whatever it is he does, just as poorly as the next guy.
So look "forward" to failing, because the sooner you get started, and the sooner you start making mistakes, the quicker you can make your adjustments and start closing in on success.
The best way to get dating experience though, is to let a woman know you're going to be doing "something" (going to the park... driving up to the mountains... fishing... having lunch at an unusual or new restaurant... going to a ball game... whatever it is you like to do, NATURALLY) and ask her if she wants to join you.
When you invite her to join you (as opposed to "asking" her out), don't put so much pressure on yourself by looking at this situation as if it were a date, but instead, just look at this the same way you'd look at it if you were going out with one of your buddies:
You guys are just going out to enjoy whatever activity you're doing. If something happens, "cool". If something doesn't, at least it was better than spending the afternoon alone.
Next.
Make sense?
Also, you should broaden your age range of the women you're interested in online, to let's say somewhere in the range of 18 to 35. There are many mature women who'd love to spend quality time with an intelligent guy like you, so don't deprive them of this luxury.
And lastly, remember things happen when you're in motion, not meditation. Get your hands on my online dating system and then set a goal of getting 10 women to go out with you over the next 3 months, and once you've accomplished this, your experience level and confidence will be night and day compared to where it is now.
Unleash your tiger dude!
Now go find the woman of your dreams,
Chet Rowland, The Chetinator
Creator of Chet's "Automatic" Online Dating System
The World's First Sexual Attraction System For Men
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